Monday, September 22, 2008

Reunion

I can only think of two occasions where family reunions (other than those that were painstakingly planned) can happen: a death in the family and a wedding in the family.

During the wake of my father, an instant get-together happened right from the first night until the last one. My cousins whom I have not seen for the last 15 or so years were present to give their last respect to my dad, and for the last time, it was again my father who “organized” this reunion. You see, my father was very active in arranging family reunions and he was a bit frustrated that the last one he requested last summer didn’t materialized as his eldest sister had to go back to the US for reasons I am not aware of. It turned out that in a few more months, it will push thru and what do we know, ironic it may seem, he was the reason it happened.

Aside from the scheduled vigils, expected sobs and endless stories about my dad, never-ending kumustahan and kuwentuhan were also inevitable. As the day went on and the night goes deeper, whispers turned into a large group of people talking and eventually, silence that is usually associated with midnight was over-powered by laughter and only a passing scent of sampaguita can lower the volume (my dad has a good sense of timing especially in delivering punchlines, so hirit nya yun).

We usually look at death with a deep sorrow and we took it like a stab in our heart. But there was a bright candle that glowed on those dark and painful days, as not only a reunion had happened but also reconciliation between erring relatives. Two of my aunts have been ignoring each other for the longest time, but on the last night of my father’s wake, right in front of his coffin, they bumped with each other and the angry fireworks we thought would fly was instead swept by tears as they hugged like long lost sisters, no apologies needed, no explanations, it just happened. They just said: “Para tayong tanga, bakit ba kasi di tayo nagpapansinan?”

God’s hands really work in silence, no explanations, it will just happen.

27 comments:

atticus said...

there's going to be a reunion of our clan again next year, in march.

and so here i am working on a study grant that will take me out of the country that month.

if you know my clan, you would, too. hehe!

jho said...

may idadagdag pa ako na occassion: when a member of a family is hospitalized (yung mga tipong life-threatening).

IA. said...

Malungkot nga that reunions happen mostly on funerals. Parang you find all the reasons not to go home when people are healthy and fine, but when they pass away, you drop everything and take the first flight home.

Kakatuwa ang reconciliation ng mga aunties mo :D

carlotta said...

i so agree with your first statement. when my cousin passed away last april, everyone in the whole clan came, even my other cousin and his family who have been out of touch most of the time.

Rudy said...

Parang nagbigay ng parting gift ang dad mo ano? biro mo, he was able to reconcile your warring aunts after all these years...

manilenya said...

hey..condolence po Sherwin..I still don't like funerals kahit na sabihing may reunion pa.

.::. Vanny .:. said...

ganun din line namen ng pinsan ko dati nung nag away kme. para kameng tanga kc di nagpapansinan ng dahil lang sa damit. :p

condolence po..

Gypsy said...

My condolences Zherwin, but it is good to know that you can always gain comfort from friends and relatives who come and who even end up making up. I am sure your dad is looking down at the reunion with a smile.

Sexy Mom said...

sometimes even in painful moments, we still see the positive side. God bless you and your family.

Panaderos said...

I agree with what Rudy said. Your dear father's passing made your aunts realize the folly of their ways. I'm glad that they made the reunion a genuine one by burying the hatchet.

I hope everything's been well with you, your dear mother, and the rest of your family, my friend. Take care of yourself.

tutubi said...

reunions during wakes. i experienced it too for our rather large family during the wake of our paternal grand.

btw, i replied to your post about your alignment problems for this blog to PBS. contact me if you need more help.

zherwin said...

atticus, hahaha, bakit mo naman iiwasan ang kapamilya mo? riot nga yun di ba? hehe

zherwin said...

jho, ay oo, pero papunta rin yun sa death in a family di ba?

zherwin said...

ia, totoo that you'll drop everything para makauwi, kung pwede lang lumipad gagawin agad.

zherwin said...

carlotta, a news about death is always surprising but we should be more surprised kung ano pa yung magagawa ng death sa mga nabubuhay pa di ba?

zherwin said...

rudy, pulis ang tatay ko kaya peacemaker yun :)

zherwin said...

manilenya, sa mga lamay, ang pinakamalungkot ang unang gabi at yung libing pero in between makakarinig ka ng tawanan...

zherwin said...

vanny, isa yun sa mga sorpresa ng buhay bigla mo na lang mare-realize na napakaliit pala ng problema para magpa-apekto. :)

salamat sa pagdalaw.

zherwin said...

gypsy, true, the comforts that our family and friends can give us is really amazing and a huge shoulder to lift us up.

zherwin said...

sexy mom, thank you so much. :)

zherwin said...

panaderos, salamat, we're doing okay, so much better than two months ago.

zherwin said...

tutubi, yes i got your reply and thank you for that, i just cannot face the code breaking at the moment, pero i am sure i'll need your help. thanks.

tutubi said...

email me your template and i'll take a look. it's just a simple code to be added. you can preview the result before saving :P

zherwin said...

tutubi, sige, try ko next week. thank you. :)

dessa girl said...

my sincerest condolences to you and your family, Zherwin..

zherwin said...

thanks dessa girl. :)

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