Pay it forward

Remember the movie with the same title? You know, the movie about a child who conjures the notion of paying a favor not back, but forward--repaying good deeds not with payback, but with new good deeds done to three new people?

Well, not exactly done to three new people, but doing the same good deed to a couple or even a single person is still good, tama ba? Lyn and I did that recently.

When a couple is getting married, they need all the help in the world, not in the pakikialaman-manner, but at least on the psychological AND financial way. The wedding preparation can be very much overwhelming, and in our case for us to be sane, we have our budget to keep us grounded and our families and friends on our back. Our families take care of the invitations and give aways, and our closest friends take care of the reception venue, the bridal shoes, my barong and Lyn's wedding gown.

And with those advance gifts that we got from our unofficial ninongs and ninangs, where a large chunk of expenses have been taken cared of, we were not just thankful but we also made a promise to do the same to others. Trust me, those kind of help are what a marrying couple needs (and not three sets of rice cooker, or three dozens of fork and spoon, or six more sets of tumblers!) as they of really huge help to the couple.

When my brother told me he's also getting married (actually, they just waited for us to go first hehe), Lyn and I immediately told them not to worry about the wedding gown and barong as those are for us to take care of, regalo na namin, they just need to decide on a design/style and off we go to our supplier.

And this is the little fruit of that labor:

That's one, two more to go maybe? :)

I can smell Christmas...

The aroma, the taste, the sweetness...along with that red washington apple and the crispy and shinning gift wrapper, this is how i remember Christmas when i was still a child...

My wife went home with this little box one time, she told me her boss gave it to her as pasalubong from the US, she find them too sweet and me crazy when she handed the box to me, her wide-eyed-oooooohhing-drooling-husband who can't seem to contain his excitement smelling the box and with the gollum-like attitude opened the box like it's his precious...

excited lang po, pasensya na hehe. It has been decades when I last saw, smell and taste one so can you imagine the violent reaction when I was given one box? The child in me that has always been there rejoiced, jumped and shouted for victory!!!!

hmm, the taste, the smell...i am enjoying my Christmas in the middle of the year.

Love affair

2003 nang una kitang nakita, una kitang napagmasdan, una kitang nahawakan. Alam kong merong mas higit ang katangian kesa sa iyo pero ikaw na iyong gusto ko, nakuha mo na ang atensyon ko, at kahit sa unang tagpo pa lang, yari na ako.

First outing natin ang Baguio, at kahit ilang beses ko na syang narating, iba pala ang pakiramdam nung nakasama kita, higit kong nakita ang natural nitong ganda at ikaw ang dahilan sa ibang antas ko ng paghanga.

Nasundan pa ito ng maraming beses, sa iba't-ibang lugar. Kahit ang pamilya ko ay nagustuhan ka rin, at swak na swak nga raw dagdag pa ng mga kaibigan. Higit pa kitang inalagaan, higit pa kitang pinahalagahan.

At hindi mo ako binibigo.

Alam ko ang limitasyon mo, kung hanggang saan lang ang kaya mo, pero nagagawa mong sumabay sa akin kahit sa matataas na bundok, sa malalamig na lugar, sa mga delikadong bangin at mga kwebang kahit pagapang pasukin ay di mo tinatanggihan. Dinala rin kita sa gitna ng dagat at kahit ang hampas ng mga alon ay di mo sinukuan.

Hanga talaga ako sa iyo.

Kasama kita sa mahahalagang pahina ng buhay ko, at kahit sa paglagay ko sa tahimik, nandun ka pa rin, hindi ka bumitaw. Nasa tabi pa rin kita.

Yun ang akala ko.

Unti-unti kang lumalayo. Dahan-dahan mong pinaparamdam na hanggang dun na lang ang kaya mo, na "you can only take so much..."

Para akong binuhusan ng malamig nang noong mismong kasama kita, tumigil kang bigla, tinitigan kita pero wala akong nagawa, nagpaalam ka pa rin. Hindi ako makakibo, naghabulan bigla sa isip ko ang mga taon ng pinagsamahan natin, ang mga sandaling kasama kita habang ako'y pinagpapawisan, noong sabay tayong nahahamugan at magkasama tayong nauulanan. Hindi ako makapagsalita. Eto na ba yung sinasabing wakas?

Sa bawat linggong lumilipas ay pilit kitang ibinabalik pero ayaw mo, blangkong ekspresyon lang ang nakukuha ko, ni ayaw mo akong makita sa sarili mong mata at ni anino ko'y hindi magrehistro sa iyo. Nakayuko na lang akong tatalikod at lalayo sa iyo.

Siguro napagod ka na rin. Marahil naibigay mo na'ng lahat at mali ako sa pag-aakalang inbinsibol ka, o talaga lang oras na para maputol ang lahat?

Naging bulag ako sa di pagtanggap ng sitwasyon, binigyan kita ng oras para makahinga, para makabawi, at minsang di ko mapigil ang sarili, binalikan kita at laking tuwa ko dahil di naman ako nabigo. Muli mong pinaramdam sa akin ang mga taon na tangan kita, muli mong nilampasan ang limitasyon mo at nilabanan ang tawag ng panahon...kahit sa huling pagkakataon.

Mas maluwag sa loob ko ngayon ang tanggaping mawawala ka na, mas bukas ang isip ko ngayon na balikan ang naiambag mo sa akin, na nagawa nating lampasan ang hamon at yabang ng panahon...

Hindi kita ililibing, hindi kita itatapon.

Dahil sa bawat galos ng balat mo ay naukit ang ating pinagdaanan, sa bawat bukas ng lente mo'y nahanap ko ang gusto ko. Dahil sa iyo natuto ako. At kahit antigo ka nang maituturing, kahit 3.2 megapixels ka lang, walang optical zoom, walang manual focus at walang pang-macro, pinamulat mo sa akin pano mahalin ang photography.

Paalam, camera ko at maraming salamat.

(Wala syang pangalan pero isa syang Sony DSC P-32)

I'm okay...

We're doing okay.

The last two months have been a roller-coaster ride: one second we're very happy, the next moment was the exact opposite.

Maybe it was a dash of reminder that we need to prepare more, psychologically and financially. Maybe it was a way of saying that we cannot rush everything.

Maybe we are being told to wait for the right time, for the right moment.

And when we are really ready, thru His time, on His will, He will finally give us what we thought we already have.

My wife had a miscarriage a week before my birthday, but she's doing fine, we're doing fine.

We're doing okay now, and we just thought of that chapter in our married life as "pang-balanse ng buhay." And the little angel we didn't get to see is up there with my father.

My father told me something in my dream...

I remember Lyn and I slept early that evening, and then I saw my father, very young looking and peaceful, he was wearing a polo shirt and he was with some people whose faces i cannot see, just white-blurry moving images surrounding my dad.

"Dinalaw ko lang kayo." he told me smiling.

He said something though I cannot recall what it was, or maybe I didn't understand, but I remember myself saying "Oo nga Daddy, sana nga."

I was about to say something and talk to him again but I woke up.

The next day, I told my wife about it and she said "Baka naman numero sa lotto yun, di kaya? hehe" I just smiled and remember that the lotto jackpot is nearing the P200 Million mark. I also told my mother about it and she said the same thing (lotto numbers).

It was only maybe one or two weeks ago when I found out what my dad's telling me and no, it's not about lotto numbers and I am not one of the two winners who split the more than P350million jackpot...

It's more than that, and an early birthday gift.

Yes, that's two lines for positive!!! Good news Pilipinas!!! We're going to be mom and dad soon. :)

Weddings 101: Where to say "I do" (part 1)

(Just a little note though, you may or may not agree on what is written here, but this was our experience, this was how we saw things and our preparation was basically treading on the practical side of everything).

You agreed on the date, and to keep the ball rolling, you should also agree on the place: the church, plus the reception venue.

Even before we become engaged, Lyn and I already agreed on having a simple yet elegant and intimate wedding. We want a small church/chapel, a reception venue near the church and a hotel near to both. Hitting three, not just two, birds with one stone. And we hit them, bull's eye! Why on such goals? Two words: Convenience. Practicality.

The choice of the church all depends on what the couple wants (especially the bride; the groom can only say yes or honey, it's up to you hehehe, joke). Some want it to be grand (the likes of Manila Cathedral) with a long aisle that can echo a very dramatic entrance for the bride. The long walk to the altar may be dreamy and one can float to the ooh's and aah's as she made her entrance, but, what if the church is empty? I mean, what if it's too grand for the number of guests that you had and/or too big for those who actually came to the church ceremony? Knowing how we Pinoys think and do, most of us will only show to the reception venue especially if the venue is faaar from the church. Trust me, the last thing that you would want on your church wedding (and on your wedding pictures) is a huge space of unoccupied seats. We prefer a small wedding, right? So the grandness is out of the picture and we're more than happy to see the smiling faces of people close to us than the mighty architecture or popularity of a certain church.

Some couple would want a church on location (Calaruega, anyone?), most of them are intimate and quite romantic actually AND, well, more expensive. I can say this here that out-of-town weddings (meaning outside of Manila) entail additional costs, let's say, at least 15% more on each wedding supplier that you have (especially if all of them are Manila-based) to cover for the obvious additional costs (some would even asked you to shoulder their accomodation, whoa!). Aside from the more expensive tag, it can also be a possible bottleneck of complications, from the guests accomodations to their transportation to everything! So we just roll our eyes on this as we do not dream of holding our cellphone during the wedding to check on everyone. (That's just one way of saying "we cannot afford this" hehehe).

When you already decided on which church suited you best, call, or better yet, visit the parish office at once to check its availability and ask for their list of wedding requirements. Now, this is getting more exciting. The basic requirements for the couple are:

1. Baptismal Certificate

2. Confirmation Certificate

3. Marriage License (To get this, you need an authenticated NSO-released birth certificate, Certificate of No Marriage or CENOMAR, also from the NSO and a trip to your neighborhood municipal hall. I'll make a separate post on this)

4. Canonical Interview (with a priest)

5. Seminar

6. A certain church document/certification (I forgot how's this being called but it's the one wherein names of the marrying couples will be read and/or posted on the parish church/es where the couple resides).

There are more documents needed for those who came from an annulled marriage, those who'll marry a foreigner, for those who married first in a civil ceremony, and others, but the above are the basic. Depending also on the parish, there maybe more requirements (like a mandatory three-sundays seminar, a list and/or a certain number of principal sponsors, a priest-approved misalette, etc.) so do asked them.

And of course, it's not for free. ho-hum.

A one-hour church ceremony is now ranging from a low of P5,000 to a high of P25,000.00 or even more, depending on the church and "upgrades". So, if you're thinking that getting married will dig a hole on your pocket, well, this is where the digging officially starts. :) I am not going to comment further on this (as I may end up ranting hehe), let's just say, they also need some money for the church maintenance and operational costs. :) The parish office will usually ask for a non-refundable deposit and the balance to be paid before the wedding (in our case, we paid the balance during the canonical interview which was done two weeks before our wedding).

St. Pancratius Chapel.

Our chapel of choice: dome-shaped, small, with an aisle of not more than 15 meters, exquisite surrounding with its outside stonewalls covered by moss and the simple interior can hold about 80-100 guests, located in Paco Park that was once a cemetery where Jose Rizal and GOMBURZA were buried, with a guarded park ground surrounded by trees and flowering plants that can accomodate about 300 seated guests, with at least two hotels nearby, enough parking space and a romantic ambiance when night falls...what more can we ask for? :)

Photos taken by Nice Print Photo

(To be continued...)

first for 2009

It's almost mid-January and it's only now that I am posting something here. Talking about starting the new year on the right foot, yeah right hehehe.

I got a bunch of stories to tell but I don't know how and when to start. It seems the little nest inside my skull is also adjusting to the new life that I had. But one day, I know that I'll get used to the new setting, just like the way I am starting to get used to where the dental floss is now located or how all of a sudden a floral mat on the floor suddenly showed itself or how that green and flowery garbage bin apparate from nowhere.

Cute little things that make waking up each morning an event to look forward to knowing that someone beautiful and loved is right beside you.

:)

I will still continue with my wedding series so I can share the experiences that we had leading all the way to the big day.

Di ko naman syempre kakalimutan ang photography, here's a glimpse to where we spent our first few days as husband and wife...

Silip lang muna...

My own wedding (and a camera on my pocket).

i took this while photographers are giving instructions hehehe

i ask a friend to take this shot and told him this is how i wanted the picture to be hehe

borrowed this picture from a friend's multiply site.

that's all for now...

hhww

as we cross the bridge towards the life-changing phase in our lives, friends, wish us the best (and a good weather, too!).

(taken by NicePrint Photo)

i'll be back soon...

Pasensya na

kung ako ay medyo nawawala

hindi naman ako tinatamad at hindi rin walang gana

kung hindi man ako makaikot

at di makabisita

pasensya na

tambak lang talaga

ang iniisip at ginagawa.

pero

kapag nakahinga na

kapag nakatapos na

laking pasalamat syempre

kasi ang saya-saya!

(ayoko lang ma-zero sa buwang ito hehe, pero busy po talaga, ilang araw na lang!!!)

Weddings 101: The first step

It has been said that the journey to a thousand miles begins with a single step. Or the first step.

And in the preparation for a journey to a thousand forever, where or how to begin?

First on the list would have to be the date, yes, the wedding date and not who to invite, who to do the gown, who the photographer, who'll do the catering, etc, etc. There will be a lot of time for those, but first thing first, when do you plan to get married?

Choosing the date can be very tricky, depending on your preference, you have about 365 days to choose from. Some couples followed their religious beliefs, some according to feng shui, some according to their anniversary/ies, some even because it was what their parents want! The latter is not really healthy, at least on the part of the couple as they allowed others to decide for themselves, not a good start, really. And, for some couple, time is of the essence. :)

The wedding date should be on top of everything because as you look for the wedding venue, reserve for a caterer, inquire for a make up artist, talk to a photographer and meet other wedding suppliers, the first question they will ask: "When is your wedding?" or "Wedding po ba, kailan?" I think that's the protocol as they also have to check their schedules and/or availability, so there.

I believe the wedding date should be decided by the couple and should not be pressured by outside forces. To begin with, it's their wedding, di ba? Lyn and I were lucky enough not to have meddling parents (meddling friends, marami hehehe), and the date we choose was acceptable to them, my mother and my future mother-in-law were even overly joyful of our choice.

Aside from the religious significance of our chosen date, we also look into the practical side of things and consider the number of months that we'll need to prepare, checking the busy months of our work (me: budgeting sessions, auditing, enrollments, etc. and lyn: sales calls, branch visits, mandatory schooling, exams, etc) and the timing for our "funding". If someone will say that eight months is a long time to prepare, i'll say not really but it did give us enough room to schedule everything.

Now that the first step was taken, real works begin.

All set

It all started with a question, then she said yes.

If we're going to go back and remember everything, the months of planning, preparation, a major setback, bridal fairs and lots and lots of meetings all over the metro were a dizzying spectacle we never thought we can accomplish (and survived!), and how's that with the equally migraine-inducing work schedules we have?

In about two months, a beautiful bride and her dashing (talaga lang ha hehe) groom will walk down the aisle to start a bright new life together.

Yes, almost everything's set and we're only working on some details (like who to assign to this and who to attend to that) and some final meetings with our suppliers.

Right now, the feeling of excitement, nervousness and yes, being pressured, almost always reign in our heads. But with the support of our family, friends and reliable wedding suppliers, we can still have a blast with the preparation.

It was really an experience, and I'll share it through this blog later. Abangan. :)

Reunion

I can only think of two occasions where family reunions (other than those that were painstakingly planned) can happen: a death in the family and a wedding in the family.

During the wake of my father, an instant get-together happened right from the first night until the last one. My cousins whom I have not seen for the last 15 or so years were present to give their last respect to my dad, and for the last time, it was again my father who “organized” this reunion. You see, my father was very active in arranging family reunions and he was a bit frustrated that the last one he requested last summer didn’t materialized as his eldest sister had to go back to the US for reasons I am not aware of. It turned out that in a few more months, it will push thru and what do we know, ironic it may seem, he was the reason it happened.

Aside from the scheduled vigils, expected sobs and endless stories about my dad, never-ending kumustahan and kuwentuhan were also inevitable. As the day went on and the night goes deeper, whispers turned into a large group of people talking and eventually, silence that is usually associated with midnight was over-powered by laughter and only a passing scent of sampaguita can lower the volume (my dad has a good sense of timing especially in delivering punchlines, so hirit nya yun).

We usually look at death with a deep sorrow and we took it like a stab in our heart. But there was a bright candle that glowed on those dark and painful days, as not only a reunion had happened but also reconciliation between erring relatives. Two of my aunts have been ignoring each other for the longest time, but on the last night of my father’s wake, right in front of his coffin, they bumped with each other and the angry fireworks we thought would fly was instead swept by tears as they hugged like long lost sisters, no apologies needed, no explanations, it just happened. They just said: “Para tayong tanga, bakit ba kasi di tayo nagpapansinan?”

God’s hands really work in silence, no explanations, it will just happen.