Pay it forward

Remember the movie with the same title? You know, the movie about a child who conjures the notion of paying a favor not back, but forward--repaying good deeds not with payback, but with new good deeds done to three new people?

Well, not exactly done to three new people, but doing the same good deed to a couple or even a single person is still good, tama ba? Lyn and I did that recently.

When a couple is getting married, they need all the help in the world, not in the pakikialaman-manner, but at least on the psychological AND financial way. The wedding preparation can be very much overwhelming, and in our case for us to be sane, we have our budget to keep us grounded and our families and friends on our back. Our families take care of the invitations and give aways, and our closest friends take care of the reception venue, the bridal shoes, my barong and Lyn's wedding gown.

And with those advance gifts that we got from our unofficial ninongs and ninangs, where a large chunk of expenses have been taken cared of, we were not just thankful but we also made a promise to do the same to others. Trust me, those kind of help are what a marrying couple needs (and not three sets of rice cooker, or three dozens of fork and spoon, or six more sets of tumblers!) as they of really huge help to the couple.

When my brother told me he's also getting married (actually, they just waited for us to go first hehe), Lyn and I immediately told them not to worry about the wedding gown and barong as those are for us to take care of, regalo na namin, they just need to decide on a design/style and off we go to our supplier.

And this is the little fruit of that labor:

That's one, two more to go maybe? :)

first

alas-singko pa lang ng umaga, dumadagundong na ang pakiramdam ko. dumaan ang alas-sais, ang almusal, hindi pa rin nagbabago. madilim sa kwarto ko at di makakapasok ang araw, pero parang nagliliwanag ang lahat kapag napapatingin ako sa salamin at naiisip kung bakit ako nandito.

masarap ang almusal, mainit at solb sa kwentuhan, relaks-relaks daw dapat at wag magpapanic pero sa bawat sulyap sa relos at nakikita ko ang pag-ikot ng bawat segundo, hindi siguro ako masisisi ng kahit sino kung me nagka-karera sa loob ng dibdib ko.

alas-syete.
alas-otso.
alas-nuwebe.

buti hindi nagrereklamo ang telepono ko sa maya't mayang tawag at text, buti hindi pa nagtatampo ang wallet ko sa maya't mayang pagdukot, pagbukas at pagtatago ulit.

alas-nuwebe y medya. kailangan ko nang maligo bago ko pa malimutang gawin ito, nakakahiya naman kung haharap akong di nalapatan ng shampoo at sabon ang katawan.

masarap ang tubig, mainit at solb na sabayan ng kanta... pero napunit ang pagkanta ng malalakas na katok sa pinto. nagulat syempre ako, at nakatapis ng tuwalya, tinakbo ko ang pinto, naramdaman ng balat ko ang lamig ng aircon at bumakat ang basa kong mga paa sa carpet, pagbukas ko ng pinto, sari-saring ingay ang bumalaga sa akin: "bakit ang tagal mo?" "ano bang ginagawa mo?" "kanina pa kami dito" "di mo sinasagot ang cellphone" "kinabahan tuloy kami" at kung ano-ano pa. naliligo po ako. pumasok at tumahimik na sila.

dumating na ang pamilya ko, isang batalyon! kasama ng mga kuwentuhan nila ang pagpasok ng maraming kaldero, mga pagkain (dito tayo magtatanghalian) at mga abubot pa. bumalik ako sa banyo at muli ring bumalik ang ingay, sila yata yung nate-tense hehe.

alas-diyes.

alas-onse. kailangang kumain ng maaga at baka makalimutan ko pa itong gawin.

alas-dose. buti hindi pa nagrereklamo ang kuwarto ko sa samu't saring ingay sa loob, buti kaya pa ng aircon ang dami ng tao, buti nakakapag-relaks ako sa gitna ng kaabalahan ng mga tao.

ala-una.

alas-dos. kailangan kong lumabas ng kwarto, kailangan kong maging presentable. at nakita ko sya, parang me kakaibang liwanag ang kanyang mukha, parang me mapang-aliping hatak ang kanyang ngiti. dun pa lang gusto ko nang mag-"I do..."

si lyn, napakaganda sa kanyang simpleng ayos, napakagaling ni Princess Misa na nag-make up sa kanya, lutang na lutang ang ganda nya at kumikinang ang kanyang mga mata. nahimasmasan lang ako ng me tumapik sa balikat ko, wag ko raw masyadong titigan at baka matunaw, mamaya pa ang kasal. :)

alas-dos y medya.

alas-tres. naramdaman ko ang init ng mga ilaw, me naramdaman akong ilang sa pagbibihis sa harap ng kamera pero awtomatiko ang paglabas ng ngiti at kalauna'y nasanay na rin ako. napigil ko pa ang luha ko nung kami ni mommy ang kuhanan ng litrato, pero sya naluha na, naalala namin si daddy.

alas-tres y medya. andaming tao sa Paco Park, lahat nakangiti, lahat bumabati, lahat kakilala ko.

alas-kwatro. marahil hindi lang dagundong ang nararamdaman ko, marahil hindi lang karera ang meron sa loob ng dibdib ko pero mas higit ang saya na bumabalot sa katawan ko, sa isip ko, sa dibdib ko.

hindi ko na nabilang kung ilang hakbang ang patungong altar, hindi ko na maisa-isa ang mga nadaanan kong nakangiti, hindi ko na rin nalaman kung gano kabilis o kabagal ang bawat ikot ng mga segundo dahil tumigil ang mundo ng makita ko si lyn na nakatayo na sa may pinto, sumisigaw ang ligaya na di kayang takpan ng kanyang puting belo.

sa pagyakap ko sa aking ina, di na nagpapigil ang mga luha.

sa paghalik ko sa mga kamay nina nanay at tatay, naging emosyonal ang paligid.

sa paghawak ko sa kamay ni lyn, doon na nagsimula ang aming pagiging isa.

December 8, 2009: first year anniversary namin. napakaraming dapat ipagpasalamat, at napakaraming dapat pasalamatan: ang Diyos, ang aming mga pamilya, ang aming mga kaibigan.

Maraming salamat at samahan nyo kami sa marami pang mga taong magkahawak ang kamay.

Weddings 101: Where to say "I do" (part 1)

(Just a little note though, you may or may not agree on what is written here, but this was our experience, this was how we saw things and our preparation was basically treading on the practical side of everything).

You agreed on the date, and to keep the ball rolling, you should also agree on the place: the church, plus the reception venue.

Even before we become engaged, Lyn and I already agreed on having a simple yet elegant and intimate wedding. We want a small church/chapel, a reception venue near the church and a hotel near to both. Hitting three, not just two, birds with one stone. And we hit them, bull's eye! Why on such goals? Two words: Convenience. Practicality.

The choice of the church all depends on what the couple wants (especially the bride; the groom can only say yes or honey, it's up to you hehehe, joke). Some want it to be grand (the likes of Manila Cathedral) with a long aisle that can echo a very dramatic entrance for the bride. The long walk to the altar may be dreamy and one can float to the ooh's and aah's as she made her entrance, but, what if the church is empty? I mean, what if it's too grand for the number of guests that you had and/or too big for those who actually came to the church ceremony? Knowing how we Pinoys think and do, most of us will only show to the reception venue especially if the venue is faaar from the church. Trust me, the last thing that you would want on your church wedding (and on your wedding pictures) is a huge space of unoccupied seats. We prefer a small wedding, right? So the grandness is out of the picture and we're more than happy to see the smiling faces of people close to us than the mighty architecture or popularity of a certain church.

Some couple would want a church on location (Calaruega, anyone?), most of them are intimate and quite romantic actually AND, well, more expensive. I can say this here that out-of-town weddings (meaning outside of Manila) entail additional costs, let's say, at least 15% more on each wedding supplier that you have (especially if all of them are Manila-based) to cover for the obvious additional costs (some would even asked you to shoulder their accomodation, whoa!). Aside from the more expensive tag, it can also be a possible bottleneck of complications, from the guests accomodations to their transportation to everything! So we just roll our eyes on this as we do not dream of holding our cellphone during the wedding to check on everyone. (That's just one way of saying "we cannot afford this" hehehe).

When you already decided on which church suited you best, call, or better yet, visit the parish office at once to check its availability and ask for their list of wedding requirements. Now, this is getting more exciting. The basic requirements for the couple are:

1. Baptismal Certificate

2. Confirmation Certificate

3. Marriage License (To get this, you need an authenticated NSO-released birth certificate, Certificate of No Marriage or CENOMAR, also from the NSO and a trip to your neighborhood municipal hall. I'll make a separate post on this)

4. Canonical Interview (with a priest)

5. Seminar

6. A certain church document/certification (I forgot how's this being called but it's the one wherein names of the marrying couples will be read and/or posted on the parish church/es where the couple resides).

There are more documents needed for those who came from an annulled marriage, those who'll marry a foreigner, for those who married first in a civil ceremony, and others, but the above are the basic. Depending also on the parish, there maybe more requirements (like a mandatory three-sundays seminar, a list and/or a certain number of principal sponsors, a priest-approved misalette, etc.) so do asked them.

And of course, it's not for free. ho-hum.

A one-hour church ceremony is now ranging from a low of P5,000 to a high of P25,000.00 or even more, depending on the church and "upgrades". So, if you're thinking that getting married will dig a hole on your pocket, well, this is where the digging officially starts. :) I am not going to comment further on this (as I may end up ranting hehe), let's just say, they also need some money for the church maintenance and operational costs. :) The parish office will usually ask for a non-refundable deposit and the balance to be paid before the wedding (in our case, we paid the balance during the canonical interview which was done two weeks before our wedding).

St. Pancratius Chapel.

Our chapel of choice: dome-shaped, small, with an aisle of not more than 15 meters, exquisite surrounding with its outside stonewalls covered by moss and the simple interior can hold about 80-100 guests, located in Paco Park that was once a cemetery where Jose Rizal and GOMBURZA were buried, with a guarded park ground surrounded by trees and flowering plants that can accomodate about 300 seated guests, with at least two hotels nearby, enough parking space and a romantic ambiance when night falls...what more can we ask for? :)

Photos taken by Nice Print Photo

(To be continued...)

first for 2009

It's almost mid-January and it's only now that I am posting something here. Talking about starting the new year on the right foot, yeah right hehehe.

I got a bunch of stories to tell but I don't know how and when to start. It seems the little nest inside my skull is also adjusting to the new life that I had. But one day, I know that I'll get used to the new setting, just like the way I am starting to get used to where the dental floss is now located or how all of a sudden a floral mat on the floor suddenly showed itself or how that green and flowery garbage bin apparate from nowhere.

Cute little things that make waking up each morning an event to look forward to knowing that someone beautiful and loved is right beside you.

:)

I will still continue with my wedding series so I can share the experiences that we had leading all the way to the big day.

Di ko naman syempre kakalimutan ang photography, here's a glimpse to where we spent our first few days as husband and wife...

Silip lang muna...

My own wedding (and a camera on my pocket).

i took this while photographers are giving instructions hehehe

i ask a friend to take this shot and told him this is how i wanted the picture to be hehe

borrowed this picture from a friend's multiply site.

that's all for now...

hhww

as we cross the bridge towards the life-changing phase in our lives, friends, wish us the best (and a good weather, too!).

(taken by NicePrint Photo)

i'll be back soon...

Weddings 101: The first step

It has been said that the journey to a thousand miles begins with a single step. Or the first step.

And in the preparation for a journey to a thousand forever, where or how to begin?

First on the list would have to be the date, yes, the wedding date and not who to invite, who to do the gown, who the photographer, who'll do the catering, etc, etc. There will be a lot of time for those, but first thing first, when do you plan to get married?

Choosing the date can be very tricky, depending on your preference, you have about 365 days to choose from. Some couples followed their religious beliefs, some according to feng shui, some according to their anniversary/ies, some even because it was what their parents want! The latter is not really healthy, at least on the part of the couple as they allowed others to decide for themselves, not a good start, really. And, for some couple, time is of the essence. :)

The wedding date should be on top of everything because as you look for the wedding venue, reserve for a caterer, inquire for a make up artist, talk to a photographer and meet other wedding suppliers, the first question they will ask: "When is your wedding?" or "Wedding po ba, kailan?" I think that's the protocol as they also have to check their schedules and/or availability, so there.

I believe the wedding date should be decided by the couple and should not be pressured by outside forces. To begin with, it's their wedding, di ba? Lyn and I were lucky enough not to have meddling parents (meddling friends, marami hehehe), and the date we choose was acceptable to them, my mother and my future mother-in-law were even overly joyful of our choice.

Aside from the religious significance of our chosen date, we also look into the practical side of things and consider the number of months that we'll need to prepare, checking the busy months of our work (me: budgeting sessions, auditing, enrollments, etc. and lyn: sales calls, branch visits, mandatory schooling, exams, etc) and the timing for our "funding". If someone will say that eight months is a long time to prepare, i'll say not really but it did give us enough room to schedule everything.

Now that the first step was taken, real works begin.

All set

It all started with a question, then she said yes.

If we're going to go back and remember everything, the months of planning, preparation, a major setback, bridal fairs and lots and lots of meetings all over the metro were a dizzying spectacle we never thought we can accomplish (and survived!), and how's that with the equally migraine-inducing work schedules we have?

In about two months, a beautiful bride and her dashing (talaga lang ha hehe) groom will walk down the aisle to start a bright new life together.

Yes, almost everything's set and we're only working on some details (like who to assign to this and who to attend to that) and some final meetings with our suppliers.

Right now, the feeling of excitement, nervousness and yes, being pressured, almost always reign in our heads. But with the support of our family, friends and reliable wedding suppliers, we can still have a blast with the preparation.

It was really an experience, and I'll share it through this blog later. Abangan. :)

Bridal Fairs

So far we’ve been to three, and I think that would be enough. Imagine walking into a place where everything that soon-to-be married couples will need were fitted into a scented, decorated, a bit noisy, and dizzying showground, these couples will be overwhelmed and overwhelmed, and in our case, multiply that by three.

A bridal fair can either be the couple’s heaven or their nightmare. If they have the money, going in these fairs is like preparing for their wedding in just one or two days. Why? Because everything can be found there: gowns, caterers, photographers, rings, invitations, make-up artists, flowers, cakes, event organizers, stylists, even dentists and dermatologists have already joined the pit. And if they have the moolah, their wedding will be headache and stressed-free, all they have to do is just affix their signatures and that’s it!

But, if the couple is on the other side of the fence and still decided to be tantalized by the dreamy atmosphere the fair can offer, going there is like having their dream weddings torn into pieces. Why? Simply because their dream wedding has a tag price, and it’s expensive.

While we’re neither of the above, we do have a budget to follow, and the accountant and banker in us keep us from going beyond the budget. We are aware that bridal fair is a big trap for over-spending on weddings but we are also aware that it can give us loads of freebies and in turn huge savings if we play our cards right.

In three separate events (and meeting and seeing the same suppliers, the same faces, and being greeted by the same enthusiastic smiles, some even know us), we were able to book the major ones and the free items, discounts and upgrades that we got were worth at least P30k! And with the expected increase in prices, and not counting the inflation, that means a lot of money and enormous savings!

While both Lyn and I do not possess the bargaining power of our parents (magagaling tumawad), magaling naman kaming magpakipot, we played hard-to-get and in turn, the wedding supplier will give in to our demands, parang nakapang-barat na rin kami hehehe.

Seriously, most wedding suppliers have a standing discount to couples who will book on site, say 20-30% discount, or a free this, or an upgrade to that, we took those discounts as part of the package and the wise thing we did was to look into the details of the package, crossed out those that will not be needed (like a tarpaulin or blow up pictures or a generic signature frame) or those that will have no purpose (like an ice carving or an extended red carpet) on the wedding and changed or replaced them with something that we need (like a bridal car or sound system or bubble machine). Trust me, a couple of hundreds or thousands removed from the package and replacing them with something that you will be paying if not included in the package can go a long, long way.

Why do I know of those things? Because I, and later on Lyn, belong to a group of “week-end” wedding coordinators before and our exposures to numerous weddings in the past gave us a firm foundation and idea on what to expect. So after the engagement, the hard work begins.

And did our being a “week-end” wedding coordinators worked on our advantage? Yes and no. And i'll post something about it later. :)

wedding dresses by Linoi

The Los Baños wedding

my saturday started out okey, i wake up early, traffic was light, going there was a breeze. and then the waiting period and the wedding..

the wedding was okey, the food was great and the cake was yummy (mer-nels cake house in Los Baños, if i remember it right), i just have this little thing about the barong that i have to wear, it's O-R-A-N-G-E! i dont know, maybe it's just me but i really was not that comfortable, the groomsmen were like, uhm, oranges.

it's actually okey, ako lang yata yung maarte, the color is cool to look at but not that good to wear. maybe i am just used to donning the traditional barong, and i am not into these colored, off-colored barong.

even with all the hassles of commuting just to get to meanne's wedding, and with all the uber-long waiting period for the van/service to come and the lack of transportation in the middle of the night going back to manila and then to cavite where i am residing ( i actually got home past 2 in the morning), be it, it's all for meanne.

Congratulations and best wishes, Mr. and Mrs. Yoshimura!!